From the Mouths of Babes

So, it's been nearly two months since I've done an update on Kaiser's latest crazy sayings. I tell ya, this kid comes up with something new to keep us laughing -- every. single. day. I'm sure that several of his quotable lines have escaped me, but here's what I've managed to remember...

One day, out of the blue, the following conversation took place between my big boy and me:

Kaiser: "Mommy is a grail."

Mommy: "That's right, Honey. Mommy is a girl."

Kaiser: "Grails make dinner." 

That's right, Folks. We may have a budding male chauvinist on our hands here. Don't worry, I'm doing my best to train him well before it's time to start pursuing a "grail" of his own. I've explained to him on more than one occasion that yes, Mommy does usually make our family's meals, because Daddy is at work so much; however, boys can (and do) make dinner, too!

Despite the non-PC statement mentioned above, Kaiser does know how to make a lady (or at least, his momma) feel super special. In the morning when I come downstairs to the living room after putting on makeup, he, without fail, looks at me and says with the sweetest little smile, "Mommy's eyes look pwetty." Lately he's even taken to saying, "Mommy's eyes look awful pwetty" or "Mommy's eyes look so so so so pwetty." Oh my heavens, can this child turn on the charm!

When Kaiser likes something, he's sure to let you know -- especially if that something is food! One day when I was cutting up an apple to pack for his lunch, he came right up beside my leg, looked up at me, and said, "Kaiser likes apples." When I assured him that I knew he liked apples, he followed up with, "I like apples more dan escagators!" Wow -- he's not messin' around! He pulled the same thing with Daddy a few days later in an effort to beg a chip off of him. This time, though, he declared: "I like chips. I like chips more dan sandwiches!" His random "more than" comparisons crack us up!

In keeping with his willingness to share his own preferences, the past week or so he's been chock-full of questions specifically about what other people like. This really seemed to start the weekend Auntie Cindy was in town. Among the many I heard him ask her were: "Auntie Cindy, do you like forkwifts? Do you like fwont loaters, Auntie Cindy? Auntie Cindy, do you like corn? Do you like beans, Auntie Cindy?" Seriously, she was being peppered with questions nonstop! Daddy and I are also being bombarded with inquiries about what foods, toys, etc. we like. My favorite part is that he always addresses us by name, either at the beginning or the end of the question. "Do you like dis song, Mommy?" "Daddy, do you like da tower Kaiser built?" "Do you like Bob da Builder, Mommy?" "Daddy, do you like...?"

Kaiser continues to be a master negotiator. At this point, he's still unable to outsmart us, but I'm not sure that will be the case a few years from now! Here a couple of the examples I can think of off the top of my head:

Kaiser: "Do you know what we're doin' today?"

Mommy: "Today we get to go to music class!"

Kaiser (after pausing to think): "Instead of music class, why don't we watch a video?"

(Nice try...but no. Of course, once I told him that Porter and I were going to music class, he decided he'd like to come, too.)

Kaiser: "Mommy, can I have a bitamin?"

Mommy: "Buddy, you already had a vitamin after breakfast this morning, remember? Can you tell me the rule?"

Kaiser: "You can have two bitamins a day."

(As I'm sure you can guess, the real rule is one vitamin per day. And just in case you're wondering, we stuck to the rule.)

One of Kaiser's new favorite expressions is "just hangin' out". He will come running up to me and ask excitedly, "What's da bulldozer doin', Mommy?" Often the truck he's asking me about is not in sight, so I'll say, "I don't know, Baby. What is it doing right now?" to which he responds, "Oh, it's just hangin' out." Sometimes I'll ask him to peek in on his brother if he's playing in another room, and he'll inform me that "Poahtah's just hangin' out." We do a lot of "hangin' out" at our house!

Speaking of his sibling, I've been thrilled to watch Kaiser grow much more caring and considerate with Porter over the past couple of months. Now, that's not to say that we don't have our frustrating, intense "No, you can't have dis! Dis is Kaiser's!" moments more often than I'd like, but on the whole he's starting to enjoy his bro and see him more as a playmate and, I daresay, friend. My heart feels full when Porter and I go into Kaiser's room first thing in the morning and he says, "Poahtah, you wanna play wit Bustah?" and immediately gives him his best friend/lovey. Or when Kaiser rushes into Porter's room with me to get him up from his morning nap, peeks into his crib, and says, "Poahtah, did you have a nice west? Did you have good dweems?" I know fighting is inevitable with sibs so close, but I just love watching their bond develop.

I'm not gonna lie: Kaiser thinks he's pretty awesome. (For the record, he is pretty awesome.) Though he gets plenty of praise from others, he's not shy about giving himself compliments, too. For instance, he will sing a song (either one he's made up, like the "Cwanes" song he was singing when we were in Michigan, or a real song, like Bruno Mars's "Just the Way You Are") and then declare, "Dat was a gweat song Kaiser singed!" After doing a dance move or making a silly noise, I've also heard him say to himself (and anyone else who's listening), "Kaiser's pwetty funny!" I'm glad he's not afraid to pat himself on the back. :)

Kaiser has become very good about blessing his food before he eats it, which makes both Mommy and Daddy very happy. Sometimes, when we're eating somewhere other than home and are distracted or feeling rushed, the adults will forget and, without a reminder, he bows his head, closes his eyes, and loudly says, "Tank you Jesus for dis food and bless it to our bodies. In Your name we pway. Amen." On the off chance Kaiser does miss this very important step, he will stop a few bites in, say, "Oh no! We foh-got to pway!" and remedy the situation right away. 

The weekend before last we were around the house playing when Brett asked me, "Hey, do we have any plans for dinner tonight?" Without missing a beat, Kaiser kind of shrugged and nonchalantly said, "I tink we'll pwolly just eat some dinner or sometin'." So nice of him to keep us informed!

When we were Aunt Kir Kir's and Uncle Kent's, Kaiser had all sorts of fun crawling up on their "tractor" (a.k.a. riding lawnmower) and pretending to drive it. Kent thought that he'd like to take a spin with him in the yard, so he came out and started it up. As soon as that engine came alive, Kaiser's eyes got wide and he quickly backed away to the side of the garage. When Uncle Kent asked him if he wanted to hop up in his lap for a ride, Kaiser shook his head and stated emphatically, "I tink I want to stay wight here!" He was much more comfortable and resumed his tractor play when it was shut off and quiet again.

Another memorable Michigan moment was when Brett let Kaiser get in the front seat of his car to "dwive". It was parked in their driveway, and Brett just closed the door and let him play while the other kiddos were busy riding the Ripstik in the garage. After a few minutes, I went to check on him, and upon opening the door I saw that he was chewing something. When I asked what was in his mouth, he replied, "I just munchin' on some gum. I like dose." He pointed to the console of the car, where there was an open tin of Altoids. Yes, Kaiser was chowin' down on some curiously strong mints. (I can barely handle sucking on those things, much less chewing them!) At least he had minty fresh breath the rest of the evening. :)

One day before naptime we'd decided we wanted to read a certain book. (I can't even remember now which one it was.) Kaiser had already climbed up into bed, so I said I'd grab it from the bottom shelf of his bedside table. I was having some trouble finding it, and suddenly he leaned way over the edge of his bed, put his little face right beside mine, and said, "Want me to hep you, Mommy? Want me to hep you find da book?" A simple offer, and I don't know whether it was the fact that his tiny little two-year-old voice was saying it or what, but it stuck out to me as such a sweet Kaiser moment.

And finally, I'll leave you with a video from a few weeks ago that I posted on Facebook, but forgot to share here on the blog. Kaiser and Porter had just received a package from Jefe and Nana, and inside the toys they sent were cushioned with bubble wrap. I thought it would be fun to play with it. Clearly, Kaiser thought otherwise...

Like I said -- our kid knows what he likes (and doesn't)! :)